Frequently Asked Questions About Child Arrangements and Parental Disputes
Children FAQ’s
1. I have a Child Arrangements Order and my child is 16, is it still enforceable?
A ‘Lives with Order’ is generally effective until the child is 18. A court will rarely enforce an order once the child is 16 unless there are exceptional circumstances.
2. Social Services are involved, do I still need a Child Arrangements Order?
The short answer is yes. If there has been an allegation of abuse or the child/children are at risk of harm, both social services and the police maybe involved quite quickly. Social services may take no action, put in place a ‘child in need’ or ‘child protection plan’. Social services can withdraw at any time, and it is therefore important to apply for a Child Arrangements Order as soon as possible to set out who the child/children will live with and what (if any) time they will spend with the other parent.
3. My ex-partner saw the children at the weekend and has refused to bring them back. What can I do?
The first step is to contact us urgently. Depending on the circumstances, we will then either issue an application with the court seeking the immediate return of the child/children (known as a Specific Issue Order), advise you to contact the police or write to your ex-partner giving them 24 hours to return the children.
If you already have a court order, this may already be endorsed with a ‘penal notice’. If that is the case, then we would refer you straight to the police as they will be able to arrest your ex-partner and bring the children home. If you do not have a penal notice, then the police will not assist you in recovering the children and you will need to go through us and possibly seek a court order.
4. I have had my children for the weekend, and they normally live with my ex-partner, but they are refusing to go home. What do I do?
This is a really difficult situation as whilst your first instinct is to do as your children ask, it is also important to fully understand why the children do not want to return home. You should speak to the children and try to understand the issue, you should then speak to your ex-partner.
Sometimes there may have been an argument between the child/children and your ex-partner and as result they do not want to go home. This could be a simple case of the child/children rebelling against boundaries set by the other parent or could be more serious.
If having spoken to the child/children and your ex-partner you are satisfied there is a valid reason for the children to stay with you, then you should contact us immediately to discuss how to proceed. The next steps will vary on whether your ex-partner agrees with the change to the arrangements.
5. My children are alleging they have been abused by my ex-partner or a member of their household.
It is important to make sure the children feel heard and believed. The first step would be to talk to the children about the allegation and then to contact the police and social services depending on the severity of the allegation. You should then contact us to advise you on the next steps. This could be a letter to your ex-partner setting out the allegations or we may advise that all contact between your ex-partner and the children stops. We may need to apply for emergency court orders.
6. I am getting abusive messages from my ex-partner in relation to the children. What can I do?
Most people communicate by WhatsApp/text and these messages can be edited or deleted or simply lost when you change phone or if your back up fails. It can be very helpful to use a communication app such as ‘My Family Wizard’, which is a secure site where all messages are backed up and neither party can edit or delete them. These apps moderate the tone of the messages and can be accessed by the court and solicitors as evidence.
7. I cannot agree arrangements with my ex-partner for the children. Do I have to go to mediation?
If you and your ex-partner have tried to talk about arrangement for the children but have been unable to agree a way forward, there are 2 options available to you. These are a court application or mediation.
We would always recommend that you attempt mediation, and the court actively encourages this. You can not issue some court applications if you have not attended mediation, and the court can suspend proceedings and direct you to mediation.
Mediation can be a very successful process and is more economical and less confrontational than the court process. Mediation can take place remotely or you can be in the same room. If there are concerns about abuse (both emotional or physical) then shuttle mediation is an option. This is where the parties are in different rooms and the mediator ‘shuttles’ between them.
8. I would like to move the children’s schools/to another county /to another country. Do I need my ex-partners consent?
If both parents have parental responsibility, then all important decisions such as which schools the children are to attend or where they will live (in relation to location), must be done with the consent of both parents. If one party will not consent, it will be necessary to make an application to the court for a Specific Issue Order to determine the issue.
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